She stands at the bank of the river
it is beautiful, she thinks
the golden rays hitting the calm surface.
She stares out into the horizon
it seems far off
just like her mind..and heart
A tear slowly glides down her cheek
is this it, is this all that life has to offer
The pain is gripping
a tight vice around her insides
She lets out a sob
and wonders if anyone really cares
She harshly wipes off the tear
as she has learned to with time
bottle it all up, she knows best
She wonders,
does the pain stop when you are dead
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Remember me.
When the sun rises, its warm rays gently caressing
When the rain in torrents pour or in slight drops
when on your skin the cool dew drenched leaves rub
Be still and a moment take
Please remember me
Today i laugh, dance, twirl
But tomorrow in a tomb may lay
Hold dear my now, for its not forever
But my now is all we both have
Please remember me
Today I gaze upon the star studded sky
Hoping in my life's journey, memories i have built
friend made, hearts touched, broken and mended
Upon the shooting star i wish out loud
Please remember me
The bird will bring you messages
In the sweetest of melodies, she will sing
Of me, of u, of us
Then u will know i have left but still remain
Please remember me
If before you, tears i shed
In pain or joy, that thought hold close
If laughter i brought to your life
Or oh sweet love, from deep within
Please remember me
Remember me
When the rain in torrents pour or in slight drops
when on your skin the cool dew drenched leaves rub
Be still and a moment take
Please remember me
Today i laugh, dance, twirl
But tomorrow in a tomb may lay
Hold dear my now, for its not forever
But my now is all we both have
Please remember me
Today I gaze upon the star studded sky
Hoping in my life's journey, memories i have built
friend made, hearts touched, broken and mended
Upon the shooting star i wish out loud
Please remember me
The bird will bring you messages
In the sweetest of melodies, she will sing
Of me, of u, of us
Then u will know i have left but still remain
Please remember me
If before you, tears i shed
In pain or joy, that thought hold close
If laughter i brought to your life
Or oh sweet love, from deep within
Please remember me
Remember me
A rose by any other name...
She cannot stop staring at the single rose freshly planted on the green mound, its petals drooping as the rain incessantly falls around it. In the misty haze, its once dashingly pink radiance seems to fade. So engrossed in it, She fails to notice that the rain too is falling around her. She sends out a cold shiver, but she is not cold, just chilled.
She turns around and everyone is walking away, seeking shelter from the pour. She stands back waiting to feel the pain she has grown accustomed to, having felt it for so long but, it is not there anymore. the pain of having people walk away, having people ignore her.
She turns back to the rose and feels closer to it. It reminds her of herself- alone, tired and fading... fading away from everyone she thought cared about her.
Her eyes are dry, unlike everyone else huddled by the cold, dark building who seemed to be crying-she doesn't know why. Shes just glad that for the first time in a long time she feels at peace.
She bends over to touch the rose and that's when she reads the tomb stone. It has her name on it!
She turns around and everyone is walking away, seeking shelter from the pour. She stands back waiting to feel the pain she has grown accustomed to, having felt it for so long but, it is not there anymore. the pain of having people walk away, having people ignore her.
She turns back to the rose and feels closer to it. It reminds her of herself- alone, tired and fading... fading away from everyone she thought cared about her.
Her eyes are dry, unlike everyone else huddled by the cold, dark building who seemed to be crying-she doesn't know why. Shes just glad that for the first time in a long time she feels at peace.
She bends over to touch the rose and that's when she reads the tomb stone. It has her name on it!
Goodbye 2009!
(Wrote this in December of 2009)
As the curtain falls on 2009, I cannot help but look back with both nostalgia and relief. To a year that was at once as great as it was among the worst. A year that brought with it as much gain as it did loss.
To the year that handed me its fair share of heartbreaks, where I loved with great intensity and hated with about the same. My expectations were by far exceeded and still my expectations were not met.
I stumbled, fumbled, fell and broke but still I got up mended and unbroke. I caused pain and brought tears with the same heart that comforted and embraced. I left, was left. I let go, was let go and so the circle goes on..
Awesome memories were made and not so awesome ones still linger. Memories that I may want the whole world to be party to and others that make me cringe and flinch.
Angels I met along the way and will forever be with me along my way. Others, well... but in a special way I was moulded by it all.
To this year I say it was great to know you but maybe its time I moved on. You are right I have no idea what the next will bring but how else will I find out?
As the curtain falls on 2009, I cannot help but look back with both nostalgia and relief. To a year that was at once as great as it was among the worst. A year that brought with it as much gain as it did loss.
To the year that handed me its fair share of heartbreaks, where I loved with great intensity and hated with about the same. My expectations were by far exceeded and still my expectations were not met.
I stumbled, fumbled, fell and broke but still I got up mended and unbroke. I caused pain and brought tears with the same heart that comforted and embraced. I left, was left. I let go, was let go and so the circle goes on..
Awesome memories were made and not so awesome ones still linger. Memories that I may want the whole world to be party to and others that make me cringe and flinch.
Angels I met along the way and will forever be with me along my way. Others, well... but in a special way I was moulded by it all.
To this year I say it was great to know you but maybe its time I moved on. You are right I have no idea what the next will bring but how else will I find out?
Friday, April 4, 2008
Racism? Feminism?
Some time back, i went to an Obama campaign rally (yeah i know, wow!!) it was
awesome and i think kenyan politicians can learn alot from this. His
speech was short, precise and to the point, he just spelt out his
policies very clearly- the man is actually a great orator(and cute?) i
was impressed.
So anyway i was there because was writing this story on his campaign and doing a research to find out if there are any kenyan groups in the United States supporting him through funds or any in any other way.
This got me thinking, I am secretly wishing he wins, not just because he is
a good candidate (which he is for sure) but because he is black and
more so because he is from kenya. So many time we accuse whites of being
racist but isnt that also racism, supporting him just because of his skin colour and heritage? i mean, we always put down racists and yet...
And if he wasnt in the race, then i would have gone for Hillary, guess
why? you got it, because shes a woman. is this also branded as feminism?
awesome and i think kenyan politicians can learn alot from this. His
speech was short, precise and to the point, he just spelt out his
policies very clearly- the man is actually a great orator(and cute?) i
was impressed.
So anyway i was there because was writing this story on his campaign and doing a research to find out if there are any kenyan groups in the United States supporting him through funds or any in any other way.
This got me thinking, I am secretly wishing he wins, not just because he is
a good candidate (which he is for sure) but because he is black and
more so because he is from kenya. So many time we accuse whites of being
racist but isnt that also racism, supporting him just because of his skin colour and heritage? i mean, we always put down racists and yet...
And if he wasnt in the race, then i would have gone for Hillary, guess
why? you got it, because shes a woman. is this also branded as feminism?
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
DEAR HUSBAND,
Last week you did not like how I ironed your clothes, well I am very sorry. I think I was tired and must have not been paying attention. I promise to be more careful next time.
The other week you said I put too much salt in my meat and undercooked my ugali. That was a bit of a shocker considering the fact that my cooking hasn’t changed since you married me six years ago. But I thought, maybe, just maybe I was not in my best moods and I let such mistakes happen. Trust me it won’t happen again.
Dear, all these years I have endured all your criticisms, taken them in my stride and purposed to learn from my mistakes. I thank you for making me a better cook, ironer, mother….
But of all the cruel things you have said to me, the worst happened some time back. The cruelty of it all just shook me to the core.
You said I was FAT!
FAT? ME?
You know what, you were right I am fat and I resolved to do something about it. So I stopped eating because you said I should look like Wambui from next door. I think it is paying off; my clothes fit me better these days. Even Junior said so. Oh that boy is growing up so fast and is becoming more like you each day, it melts my heart.
I don’t know about Baby, I think she takes after me and that scares me because the other day as she played with the neighbour’s kids, she looked FAT! I know she’s only 3 but she does need to look good so that her future can be bright and comfortable. I decided to start her on a diet almost like the one I am on, Dear, I think you would be proud of me now.
So, aside from all that I just wanted to let you know that the other day, I got a real fright, Baby was sick and I had to rush her to hospital. I think it’s the time you were on the business trip to South Africa. Anyway she was really ill in the middle of the night and Driver took us to hospital, she was crying so much and looking up at me with sad, dull eyes.
Doctor said she had to be admitted, and that it was serious. I started to cry, I dint know what to do and wished you were around. Can you imagine my shock when the doctor told me Baby had anorexia!!
ANOREXIA?
But she’s just 3, how can that be?
I got my answer, Doctor said I made her anorexic, I starved her to death…. He was not sure she would make it.
That night as I sat and watched over my little angel, I prayed, prayed so hard.
That’s when the dawning came.
Now I am standing in our bedroom packing. Do you know what I am putting in my suitcase, MY clothes! My plus-size blouses and skirts that you loathed so much. In YOUR closet am leaving all the size 0 dresses and stilettos.
Dear I think you should know that I unruffled all your clothes that I had ironed. I think its time you learnt to iron because in all my years with you, never has my ironing changed. I do them just like my mother taught me.
Speaking of lessons from my mother, she taught me better that to be treated like this by a man.
Baby is my pride and joy, and you are not going to take away her esteem and ruin her life like you did mine. Junior too is my love and watching him behave like you is sickening. At 5 a boy should not treat women like slaves in fact at any age a man should never treat women as lesser beings.
So, I guess this is goodbye. And don’t think I didn’t know about your ‘business trips’
The other week you said I put too much salt in my meat and undercooked my ugali. That was a bit of a shocker considering the fact that my cooking hasn’t changed since you married me six years ago. But I thought, maybe, just maybe I was not in my best moods and I let such mistakes happen. Trust me it won’t happen again.
Dear, all these years I have endured all your criticisms, taken them in my stride and purposed to learn from my mistakes. I thank you for making me a better cook, ironer, mother….
But of all the cruel things you have said to me, the worst happened some time back. The cruelty of it all just shook me to the core.
You said I was FAT!
FAT? ME?
You know what, you were right I am fat and I resolved to do something about it. So I stopped eating because you said I should look like Wambui from next door. I think it is paying off; my clothes fit me better these days. Even Junior said so. Oh that boy is growing up so fast and is becoming more like you each day, it melts my heart.
I don’t know about Baby, I think she takes after me and that scares me because the other day as she played with the neighbour’s kids, she looked FAT! I know she’s only 3 but she does need to look good so that her future can be bright and comfortable. I decided to start her on a diet almost like the one I am on, Dear, I think you would be proud of me now.
So, aside from all that I just wanted to let you know that the other day, I got a real fright, Baby was sick and I had to rush her to hospital. I think it’s the time you were on the business trip to South Africa. Anyway she was really ill in the middle of the night and Driver took us to hospital, she was crying so much and looking up at me with sad, dull eyes.
Doctor said she had to be admitted, and that it was serious. I started to cry, I dint know what to do and wished you were around. Can you imagine my shock when the doctor told me Baby had anorexia!!
ANOREXIA?
But she’s just 3, how can that be?
I got my answer, Doctor said I made her anorexic, I starved her to death…. He was not sure she would make it.
That night as I sat and watched over my little angel, I prayed, prayed so hard.
That’s when the dawning came.
Now I am standing in our bedroom packing. Do you know what I am putting in my suitcase, MY clothes! My plus-size blouses and skirts that you loathed so much. In YOUR closet am leaving all the size 0 dresses and stilettos.
Dear I think you should know that I unruffled all your clothes that I had ironed. I think its time you learnt to iron because in all my years with you, never has my ironing changed. I do them just like my mother taught me.
Speaking of lessons from my mother, she taught me better that to be treated like this by a man.
Baby is my pride and joy, and you are not going to take away her esteem and ruin her life like you did mine. Junior too is my love and watching him behave like you is sickening. At 5 a boy should not treat women like slaves in fact at any age a man should never treat women as lesser beings.
So, I guess this is goodbye. And don’t think I didn’t know about your ‘business trips’
Friday, March 28, 2008
ODE TO A HERO
Mary. Maria.
The former her name, the latter more befitting.
Ask me why, I don’t know.
The latter, more ethereal. Other-Worldly. Heavenly.
Her.
A woman of great courage, not afraid to stand up to her beliefs even when everyone around her was falling.
A mentor to many, mostly without her knowledge, instilled important life skills.
My life i owe her. literally and otherwise.
Many time along the path i faltered, slipped, fell.
Yet because of her i stood back up, maybe alittle bent, slumped and stumped, but i stood up all the same.
I hated her. Oh, foolish hate.
I loved her. Oh innocent, purest love.
I loved her
I love her
Only one word is big enough to encompass all this
MOTHER.
My mother.
The former her name, the latter more befitting.
Ask me why, I don’t know.
The latter, more ethereal. Other-Worldly. Heavenly.
Her.
A woman of great courage, not afraid to stand up to her beliefs even when everyone around her was falling.
A mentor to many, mostly without her knowledge, instilled important life skills.
My life i owe her. literally and otherwise.
Many time along the path i faltered, slipped, fell.
Yet because of her i stood back up, maybe alittle bent, slumped and stumped, but i stood up all the same.
I hated her. Oh, foolish hate.
I loved her. Oh innocent, purest love.
I loved her
I love her
Only one word is big enough to encompass all this
MOTHER.
My mother.
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